Tip Toe Tuesday

And a time that feels right to dip my toe back in the blogging pool for a slow return back to my beloved blog that I've let sit neglected for far too long (yet again...)

I can give you the spiel of how life got in the way and things have been so hectic (which they were) but it's really on me that I let this fall to the wayside again.

I miss writing.
I miss getting my thoughts out of my head.
I miss this part of me.

For almost ten years, blogging was a huge part of my life and outlet for me to document our lives but also to share some of the messy parts that were easier for me to type out then speak into the world.

And I want to get back to that.

- I want to document the adventures of Amaya and I because they're some of my most treasured memories.
- I want to invest more into my photography not only as a hobby, but expanding my knowledge and hopefully building my own business one day.
- I want to share our travels because it one of best ways to escape reality and indulge.
- I want to talk about my divorce and coparenting and the messy moments of our lives that most of us try to tuck away and keep off of our highlight reel.
- I want to shout it out when I think I am rocking shit but also when I feel like the world is crumbling around me.
- I want to be here. Period.

For a long time, I felt ashamed of my love for my blog and the connections it let me foster but if I've learned anything over the last couple years...'other people's opinions of you are none of your business'.

...whether I'm the only one reading this or a handful of people show up...
...whether I write twice a week or twice a month...
...whether anyone finds it, reads it, and encounters me in real life...

I'm going to show up and show myself here and let my fingers and photos do the talking for me.

I'm glad to be back.
Now I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my Tuesday  and personal day with the help of cinnamon buns and semi-clean rooms.

Ice Cream Date

It's been too long since I've gave this space any of my time or energy but lets be realistic and state that sometimes life gets in the way. 

Life has been hectic, stressful, and all consuming and this little space of mine had to take the backseat until I had things a little bit more figured out. 

With that being said, I want to slowly but surely start making my way back here and we'll start off easy with a little ice cream date my sister and I had with the kiddos at the lake. 

In an effort to combat the crazies and energy these kids exhaust during these hot summer days, my sister and I decided to take the gang to the lake. We walked around the whole lake with a stop at the playground to burn off some energy and then at the snack shack to grab an ice cream to cool off. 

This is one of our (Amaya and I) favorite spots to go and it makes it much sweeter when it's ice cream season and we can get our favorite treat. 

Each of the kids picked either the traditional chocolate or vanilla, but I believe I've converted Amaya into the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream lovers club. 

Oh, that's not a real club?
Well it is now. 

Here's to the first but definitely not last summer time ice cream date and hopefully more consistent blog posts from our Little Home. 

Weekend Adventures

The weekdays for Amaya and I are pretty tame since I work ten hour days and she is at daycare/ preschool for most of that time. We stick to a pretty strict schedule after work since there are baths to be taken, food to be made and eaten, stories to be told, and prayers to be shared.

So when it's our weekends together, we try to get out on adventures and really soak up the time we have. The weather has been pretty uncooperative with all the rain we have been receiving but we had a couple good days this week so we strapped up our sandals and headed out to the horizon.

Friday | Heisler's Dairy Bar 

Friday (or Thursday, I can't remember now) we decided to head out to the country to enjoy some dinner and desserts at the Dairy Bar. We indulged in chicken fingers, cheeseburgers, fried pierogies, french fries and capped them off with pretzels and milkshakes for dessert. 

We arrived there right in time to avoid the crowds but to still enjoy our dinner in the sunshine and warmth. It was the perfect night to indulge in dinner outside and have some fun amongst the cows.

Saturday | Locust Lake State Park

Yesterday Amaya and I cleaned up the house in the morning, napped, and then decided to seize the early evening and head to the lake for some ice cream and some playground shenanigans. 

The simplest trip was so special to her. We shared a cotton candy ice cream cone, walked hand in hand to the playground where she climbed allllllll the things, and then headed to the 'beach' so she could play in the sand and tip her toes in the water. 

It successfully simple and just the way we needed to end our day.

Sunday | Nanny's Birthday!!!

Today is Nanny's birthday and we have a little celebration planned for the special lady in our life. 

How is everyone's weekend going?
Any special plans or events going on?

To The Mouse House We Go....

Do you know the feeling of when you have really exciting news but you can't share it immediately and it burns a hole in your brain from excitement and anticipation....but you just have to wait it out for the right time?

If your answer is yes...then you totally understand my sentiments right now.

And for anyone questioning....nope, I'm not aboard the pregnant train my friends.

But what I will be aboard is a flight to Orlando, Florida in less than 30 days, hand in hand with my daughter and mother, standing in front of beautiful castle because...


After months of planning and figuring out logistics, meals, reservations, and all things Disney, we are down to our last thirty day countdown to go experience the most Magical Place on Earth and I'm so excited to finally be able to share it already.

To those who may have known me from my last blog, you'll remember that back in my younger years, I actually worked at Disney World through the Disney College Program. I worked at the Liberty Inn restaurant at the American Adventure pavilion in Epcot's World Showcase for eight months during the College Program and then proceeded to stay and work there, as well as at the Disney resorts as a fitness center attendant.

For those five years I lived in Florida and had many experiences, Disney was always a very huge part of it. I'm so thankful for that experience and opportunity and it will hands down, besides the birth of my child, be one of the best experiences of my life.

So to say that I'm excited for this opportunity to take my daughter and be able to live the magic through her eyes would be an understatement.

I've dreamt of the days of taking my daughter to see the magicalness of 'real life' princesses and characters and she is at such a sweet age where all of this is so real and enchanting to her.

I can't wait for the ears and smiles and treats and excitement.
To watch the castle light up in fireworks while I hold my girl, hand in hand with my own mother...three generations experiencing Disney World together.

● ● ●

* I'm also not ignorant to the fact that we will be there during the most hot and most crowded time of the year, so I'm sure not everything will be magical...but Amaya will also enjoy Disney two weeks later when she goes with her Daddy so we're keeping our expectations low.

leotard + letterboard c/o Walmart
tutu c/o Aunt Cassie
bow c/o Zozu Baby

Knoebels, Here We Come!

Every year starting from mid-April until October, there is atleast a handful or not more times that we hit up our relatively close amusement park.....

Knoebels Amusement Resort

And this year is no different.

Do you remember when you were a kid and there was that one spot that brought unlimited joy and excitement to you? Well Knoebels is that place for Amaya. Since October when they closed for the season, this girl has asked on almost a weekly basis, when we could go again.

This never ending winter made my April promises seem bleak with all the rain, sleet, and snow we were getting, but I think we've crossed the other side and my promises are going to come to fruition this upcoming Saturday when they open for the pre summer season.

So I thought it would be fun (plus I use this as a somewhat digital scrapbook) to look back on some of the fun we had in 2017 at our favorite fun, food, and family themed amusement park.

Go ahead and take all my money, because I will never tire of those smiles.

Plus with free parking and admission and the kids rides ranging from $.50 to $1.25, it is pretty nice on mommy's wallet too.

I can't wait to surprise her this weekend and enjoy what she's been longing for all year. We're serious about our amusement business and you can check out our trip from last April here.

*this post is in no way sponsored by Knoebels or their company, we just truly love this place that much and go on our own dime multiple times a year. If they want to throw a couple free tickets our way we wouldn't complain but we'll still be there regardless.  

The Toys That Make Me Want To Lose My Mama Mind

If your home is anything like my home, then it is probably packed with toys from room to room. You could easily take a stroll through my house and find atleast a handful (if not more...) of Amaya's toys scattered about in each room of my house. The birthday parties, Christmas', Easter, and just general toys from short shopping trips add up rather quickly.

I've come to the point that at holidays and birthdays when family and friends ask about what Amaya 'needs/wants', I strongly urge for NO MORE FREAKING TOYS, but rather suggest that they offer an experience or adventure for her to do, like:

- contribute to her dance class
- bowling passes
- membership to a museum
- passes to the zoo
- things of that like or educational experiences

To be honest, I much rather us collect experiences and memories than possessions and honestly, things that are just going to junk up our house. Now, rest assure I'm not some Joan Crawford mama who rules the roost with a wire hanger but there are just some toys that irk me to my core.

Does this mama silently cringe every time she asks for or pulls one of these out to play with....Ummm yes.

Does this mama also get on the floor and roll around with these Satan created S.O.B's.....also yes.

This is mom life.
And my short list of the toys I despise at the present moment:

I have pledged my undying annoyance for this mushy mess time and time again. Everytime she brings this out to play with, I die a little on the inside. My type A has an internal meltdown when she decides to open the fresh canister of new beautifully colored doh and then proceeds to mix the ever loving crap out of them.

Is she using her imagination and creating loving cupcakes of multicolored madness, yes....but she is also driving her mama mad with the tiny balls of squished and long forgotten dough that I find dried up all over my casa.

Fingerlings (and toys of the like)
I take no responsibility for this as my girlfriend bought this for Amaya for Christmas, but I just don't get it. It's a monkey who makes sounds and moves his head back and forth and makes sounds while attached to your finger.

That's it.

Granted hers does have a jungle gym but it literally does a whole lot of nothing besides taking up space in the house. She played with it initially but the only thing it is good for now is scaring the shit out of me in the middle of the night when I forget to turn it off and it motion sensor screeches at me.

Is this how our parents felt about Polly Pockets?

Because I curse the parent hating creators of these small ordinary object with faces. Why, oh why, would you create the most tiniest toy ever with a plethora of must need 'collectibles'? I can't count how many times I have been down on all fours looking under the couch and in the crevices of our furniture for the cutestsy cupcake and magical mushroom and all of their friends. Or when she needs a super special approximate one that we haven't seen in months but is seriously necessary for tonight's bedtime routine.

Seriously, these bad boys are barely as big as my fingernail.
I will be more than happy when we're over this stage of tiny toys.

Okay...I lie. I lie.

I will probably miss the shizz out of these when they're missing from my existence.

Fast Food Toys
We all know them...the little knick knacks and poorly made plastic toys that come in almost every kids meal out there. These are the toys that are usually found at the bottom of the barrel and are definite throwaways until your kiddo sees them and then 'omg, that is my favoooooooowite toy mommmmmy'.

*insert strong mama side eye here*

I always try to throw these away on the sly and these are definitely the first to go during the toy purges but do you know what also makes me despise these? That if it is an actual good toy that I know she enjoys, there is no way to get a replacement for it once they run their course at the restaurant.

Although we rarely enjoy many fast food restaurants, the times we do get McDonalds, I've opted for the book option instead of the toy. We've started a small book collection in the car of those books.

I'm sure there are are few more such as battery operated annoyances but that's a post for another day. I promise I'm not a monster of a mommy but let's keep it real and admit that some things just get under our skin and these are the toys that do it for me.

What toys make you want to lose your ever loving mama mind?
Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

April: Refresh

It's a suffocating feeling when you look around your house and see the piles of junk and clutter climbing the walls and trying to escape the baskets and bins you tried to use as homes from them.

This crushing mama induced anxiety attack over alllllllll the freaking things usually comes after a major holiday or change of season, when I feel the need to refresh and revitalize my physical and emotional clutter.

If you're anything like me, then these times seem to be the purge and reorganize windows of insanity/sanity for you.

1. Back to School |
 When there is color coordinated appliances and organizational folders, bins, and binders out of the wazoo, I usually get the urge to organize all of my paper and financial documents at this time of year. I want everything to be color coded, in their well defined folder and any other junk mail I want shredded.
I am a shredding ninja when it comes to junk and old mail that has no place in my home. Be gone, you sad tree that died for no reason.

2. Christmas + New Year |
I think this is the more popular one for everyone with the after Christmas clutter and the need to hit the reset button for the New Year. I usually always try before Christmas to go through her toys and do a purge of old, un-played with, broken, and/or damaged toys but it is inevitable that some sneak through the cracks and those dollar store stop junky toys start piling up again.

And don't get me started with New Years...
I go in with the best of intentions to change my ways and habits and set realistics resolutions but reality hits the hard fan and my best intentions fly right out the window.

Which leads me to:

3.  The Spring Clean
This is where I am at right now.
The second day of April and even though there is a stupid winter storm that blew through dumping another round of snow, I feel the need to liven and freshen everything up in the hopes of willing real Spring to come.

My year did not start off as planned and with unexpected expenses, home repairs, car repairs, and emotional stress for life in general, I crave a change for the better and to restructure for the rest of the year.

I would like to chalk up the first couple months of the year as a trial period and initiate a quarterly refresh starting now.

So being the list and task maker I aspire to be, I compiled a list for myself of things that I would like to refresh or restructure for the remainder of the year in a realistic way to fit our current lifestyle and situation.

Quarterly Refresh 

Home |

Carpet + Decorate Playroom :
This is mostly a cosmetic project to finish but is one that I'm looking most forward to finishing. After evaluating my budget and goals that I have for the next couple of years, it made more sense to stay in our home that is already paid off then trying to move after this divorce. In light of that, I wanted to utilize and make the most use of out our small house and turning our attic into a playroom/guest room has made the most sense to me. It would clear out clutter from our already cramped living room while giving Amaya her own space for her toy collection and imagination.

Fix Pipes for First Floor Bathroom :
This past winter has been a nightmare for me living as a single homeowner. During a couple small mental breakdowns this winter with all the things that can go wrong, I realized that as a single mom and homeowner, there are some things that I need to learn and reconfigure to make our livable space more...well freaking livable. For the past three months, we've thankfully been able to use our 2nd floor bathroom after our pipes busted to our first floor during the deep freeze in January. This spring we will work on repairing those and coming up with a better plan/solution for next winter.

Replace Baseboard Heater : 
This is one that should have been completed when I was still married since it hasn't worked since then but one that needs to be solved regardless. These last almost two years of living on a single household income made me reevaluate our utility usage and since my house runs on electric heat, I have been murdered this year with heating costs through the deep freezes and the never ending winter.

There is many other big and small home related projects that I would like to accomplish but these are the major ones that will give me a little piece of mind if I'm able to finish for this year. Working on my budget and needs for next year, there is a couple larger projects that will require a good chunk of change so this year is about handling projects that are prerequisite to those.

Health | 

Put down the carbs Ivy : 
I have definitely eaten my feelings over this past year and pretty much made mac and cheese my boyfriend and we need to break up ASAP. These carbs are literally weighing me down and I can definitely feel and see the extra weight I've put on. I'm doing anything strict or eliminating completely yet, but I will be cutting back drastically.

Continue work on my mental health :
This past year and a half has really put me through the ringer mentally and emotionally and I'm hoping to continue to find better coping tools for my anxiety and depression. Blogging and writing things out is a great outlet for me so I plan on continuing that as well as photography since it allows me to find the beauty in ordinary things. I am also planning on seeking out therapy perhaps just for myself. If you were around during my marriage you will know that my ex and myself sought marriage counseling but I think it will also be beneficial to me to seek it solely for myself.

Exercise...Exercise...Exercise : 
I think this will fall right in line with the previous two and will be good for my other all health and self body image. I need to get up and get moving and after this never ending winter, I am dying to get outside for walks and outdoor play with Amaya. If you have any good but novice workout plans, please send them my way.

Happiness |

Getting my finances together :
I know money doesn't buy happiness but financial freedom and peace of mind do and that's what I strive to accomplish throughout this year. I know I will not getting everything paid off and my credit score won't skyrocket over night, but my aim is to reduce my debt and increase my score over these next couple of months.

Vacation :
This may seem counteractive to my previous goal but I'm going to be greedy and live life to the fullest. We are not promised tomorrow or the time we have with others, so I made an executive decision this year to plan an exciting vacation for Amaya and myself. Our trip was paid in full with cash and I'm excited to share all the details soon.

Raising a happy child :
She will not be a content child 24/7, what child is? But I am trying my hardest at letting go of the little things and really following the mindset of #letthembelittle. We're definitely into our groove and our new normal as a duo but there will always be a few kinks to work out. I'm trying to be more of a 'yes' mom, acquiring adventures instead of possessions, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship with her father, all things that I think are progressive to a happy child and in turn happy mama.

These are really just the tip of the iceberg of items I want to accomplish for myself.  I have a more detailed list that you can find here , but this list is at the forefront of brain right now.

It's Spring now, and while everything else is blooming and creating a new life for itself, I want to do the same and polish up the little life I've been given too.

Do you have any special goals for yourself or resolutions that may have fallen by the wayside at the beginning of the year that you plan on picking back up now?