All New

New Year.
New Me.
New Blog.

Yes, my friends you read that right, I'm lacing up my blogging boots and jumping back on the saddle that I abandoned for far too long. If you followed my previous blog, than welcome again loves...and if you're new around these parts...well come on in and take a seat to the shit show.

If you stick around long enough, you'll come to learn and love that I am not one to sugarcoat shit. In a world full of Snapchat filters, political correctness, and putting out an image of perfection...I'll be the first to fall and fully admit my eff ups and misgivings.

Am I the best mom...?
Nope.
Sometimes I feed my kid hotdogs and mac and cheese twice in one week and sources may confirm that I have given her chocolate at 5 a,m. before daycare. Listen, I pick my battles...and I'm sure any other mamas out there can vouch that they've taken the 'Mom Hall Pass' on occasion themselves. And if you haven't....well then you're either a liar or a saint.

Am I the most stylish...?
Ha.
One look around my closet, Instagram, or really my face in general, and you will find the answer you're looking for. I have one pair of 'good (read: Target) jeans', one of my favorite nice tops is a maternity top (mind you, my daughter is 3), and I'm pretty sure the 12 year old across the street can contour better than I can. Clothes and make up are not my niche but is that going to stop me from learning how to 'wing' my eyeshadow or paint tribal lines on my face in the name of contour...nope. This year, I feel is going to be alot about self discovery and lucky you will have a front seat to the circus.

Am I the most fit...?
Another ha.
Let's just say I've pretty much carb loaded over winter break like a pubescent teenage boy getting ready for a big Friday night light game against their arch rival. The rival being my thighs, stomach, and these things I used to think were arms but have now morphed into some kind of bat wing hybrid that sing a sweet flappy song when I wave hello. This is in no way a pity plea where I need to you soft kitty Christina Aguilera me and tell me I'm beautiful. Sure, I got a cute enough face to get me by but it's about time I whip this booty and body back into shape. The 'I just had a baby' is getting old on the playground circuit when she's pretty much bulldozing cups of apple juice like it's her job.

Am I loyal, loving, and honest to a tee...?
F*CK YEAH!

I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay (just ask my estranged husband..lol) but I'm me and that's all I can promise right now.

I can't promise perfection or proper sentence structure or punctual posting but I can say that I'll be here and I hope you will be too.

Welcome to the new blog, my loves.