Magic of Motherhood

The magic of motherhood, a title that caught my eye almost instantly when I saw this book floating around the feeds of Instagram almost a month ago. I try not to give in to my Instagram shopping urges but the thought of this book has stayed on my mind for a couple weeks and I finally gave in to my insta splurge. 

With it being Mother's Day yesterday, it only seemed fitting to scoop it up then. A book filled with stories from other mamas sharing the struggles and smiles that motherhood brings, on a day celebrating that very essence and person, well sign me up. 

Although I'm only a couple of stories in, I like that it is just a collection of experiences and not a 'do this, not that' instructional book or even worse, a glossed over, motherhood is rainbows and unicorns, my life and everything is perfect compilation of lies. 

We all know that motherhood is magical.
We grew tiny humans in our very own bodies and that in itself is mind blowing enough.
We get to watch them discover the world and experience things for the first time with a front row seat to the show. 
If getting to experience that isn't magical than I don't know what it is.
We are the creators, protectors, and givers of these little lives and I don't know how much I can express my gratitude in being able to experience motherhood.

But motherhood is also hard...
And I'm glad this book explores the struggles that real mamas face.
The struggle that motherhood is also sad, lonely, and frustrating in between those cracks of magicalness. 

It's easy to get caught up in the beauty of motherhood when we can easily slap a filter on our everyday life and post it to our social media platform of choice to pretend that everything is gravy and we are seamlessly gliding through motherhood. But it's not reality or atleast not mine, and I wanted to share some of my struggles to lessen the burden and stigma of not being the 'magical mama' all the freaking time. 

3 Struggles That Make Me A Less Magical Mama

1. I alot lately. 

Perhaps my cup has runneth dry in the patience department but after telling my toddler a literal million times to do or not do something with complete disregard, I get to my wits end and raise my voice. We are usually pretty good throughout the day with stern warnings but she has been fighting me tooth and nail at bedtime lately and that is where I seem to get worked up the most. I'm trying to work on different methods and routines but in reality, sometimes I do yell 'go the fuck to sleep' minus the curse word. I may not be magical but I'm not a monster. 

2. I let her zone out on her tablet/television.
For how much I swore I would never be a mom who would set there kid in front of electronics for an extended time, I am now quickly eating my words. Before my venture into single mom-dom, we would do crafts and learning activities almost daily. It was much easier doing those things when I knew I would have extra hands during dinner, bath, and bedtime. Now that those responsibilities lie solely on me, I use those those two things as a crutch some days so I can get things done around the house or if we both had a long or difficult day at school or daycare. Vegging out sometimes saves both our sanity. 

3. I enjoy the time away sometimes.

For how much I long to have my family unit back, I have to admit that on some weekends I enjoy the solitude that comes with her going to her dad's for the weekend. I read an article recently about why children seem to go crazy when they come home to their moms (or perhaps dads, if they're the primary parent) and not around others and it explained that you are their safe space. Where the child keeps it together out in public, at school, with family, or even there other parent....they let loose and release all their emotions on you because they feel safe with you. I have now come to experience that first hand, and while I want Amaya to always feel safe with me and be comfortable in sharing every part of herself, sometimes it is completely draining to manage my emotions as well as hers. I feel like a shitty mom for admitting that but I need those couple hours that she's gone for the weekend to regroup and to set my best mom foot forward for the following week ahead. 

How are those for #momtruths? 
I know there are much bigger and smaller struggles we all face as mamaa and I would love if you shared yours, 

What are the struggles you face as mom? 
How do you deal? 
Is your guilt and anxiety over mamahood at its peak or in its vslley?

Please do share. 

Knoebels Amusement Resort | April 2017

To say my daughter is a fan of this particular amusement park would be a drastic understatement. To be more clear, the words obsessed , addicted, and enthralled would better suit her love of all things Knoebels.

I may be partially (okay...fully perhaps) to blame for said addiction since I enabled her quite frequently last year with trips during my vacation from work, but who could blame me really?  An amusement park with free admission and free parking with decently priced food and a variety of rides for those both young and old, sign me up.

Although it may sound like this is an advertisement, I assure you it's not. I'm just a beezy on a budget who enjoys cheap thrills while also lighting my daughters face up with joy and laughter.

I literally on multiple occasions have had to 'play' Knoebels with her during the winter while they were closed, when she would get on my lap and request that I let her 'ride' the rolletcoaster, cars and boats. She has asked about it practically every weekend so I knew that I had to take her on opening day, which just happened to be this past Saturday.

If you caught my IG stories this weekend (@lwlh), then you were able to witness the utter surprise and excitement as we pulled in and she screamed 'we here. Wook Mommy, it right dere, it right dere Mommy!!'

She and her cousins were in all their tiny glory being able to go to the amusement park as a surprise, as we each dashed to our respective age appropriate rides. I took on the tiny terrors as my sister entertained my ten year old nephew, and we had a blast. The kids got to ride a few of their favorites and my sister and I got to enjoy the happiness that a simple $20 book of tickets can bring a kid.

With it being opening day, it got crowded quite quickly so we made a mad dash for the exits after a couple good hours in.


There have only been a handful of times that I have left the park without one, and Saturday was not it. I'm thinking maybe a caramel apple next time....

Please believe there will be a next time.
This was just the first of many visits this season.