One Word: Conscious

I always set out in the New Year with the best of intentions to become a better version of myself for the incoming year. I've learned over the years that strict resolutions always left me coming up short and feeling like a failure when I didn't accomplish my set goals, so over the last couple years I've taken to having a 'word of the year' and use that guide me in the areas of my life that I want to approve upon.

Last year, I chose the word Focus.

I chose that word because with the couple months prior to the New Year, our lives changed dramatically and I wanted a word that kept me grounded and had me stay focused on the important parts of my life and wellbeing, instead of dwelling on the negative and staying stuck in my emotions. Choosing that word actually helped me tremendously and actually did keep me focused on making the most positive changes and choices for Amaya and I.

You can read that post here.

For this year, while remaining focused on our goals, I want to put forth a more conscious effort doing so, so I chose my 2018 word of the year to be:


Conscious - / adjectives / - aware of and responding to one's surroundings, awake

Apparently, if I was one of the cool kids (which I'm not...), I would assume this definition would lead me to being 'woke'.

Oh Childish Gambino, I am not.

But in reality, yes...I want to be aware of my surroundings and really take note to what I'm giving back in this world, whether it be to myself, my child, my peers, or the universe in general. We can all see the shift and negativity that has consumed the world and especially the media lately and it sickens me to think that this is the world we are raising our children in. Sure, I have my thoughts and opinions but I want to try to convey those in a positive manner, so that my daughter can look up to me as a strong woman and mother who was able to have her voice heard while still respecting myself and others.

With that said, here are some areas I would like to put a more CONSCIOUS effort towards:

- immersing myself in more of my hobbies
- allowing myself to process my emotions and not apologize for it
- find the non monetary things that will bring me happiness

- continue to foster a home of love and happiness
- try to say yes more (within reason)
- implement more behavioral methods to curb discipline and acting out
- get back on track with our routines (which will hopefully help the attitude)
- decrease screen time more and bring in more imaginative play
- continue 'adventure days' and Mommy + Me dates
- continue to enjoy the couch cuddles and rocking because one day it will end

- continue to keep lines of communication open
- maintain boundaries and expectations of each other
- continue to foster a healthy relationship between all parties
- involve each other in more hands on and one on one time between her
- continue scheduled visitations and custody arrangements

- purchase the She Reads Truth bible
- find a womans devotional to follow
- attend church regularly with and without Amaya
- find a good base church + sunday school
- allow myself to continue to question and seek counsel

- go to the gym every other weekend
- incorporate more in home workouts
- find and try more healthier meal options
- meal plan more
- be more observant of labels and the ingredients of our food
- cut soda, drink more water
- eat smaller portions

- work on home renovations, such as:
    • plumbing/pipes in crawl space
    • carpeting attic, creating playroom
    • repainting kitchen/laundry room
    • removing finish from deck then staining
- print and hang more of my photography
- deep clean the entire house
- clean and clear out clutter from the basement
- continue to find my home style and implement it

- pay off debt bills
- continue to create and add to emergency + expenditure fund
- continue to raise credit score
- be more stringent on monthly budget to accomplish these goals
- create a savings account for Amaya
- find expenditures that are unnecessary and that can be cut
- read a Dave Ramsey book....suggestions?

- once again, finding a life I am happy with
- creating memories and moments with Amaya
- allowing myself to take time for myself
- keeping my heart guarded yet open to new possibilities
-living my fucking BEST LIFE!

Because really, isn't that what we're all aspiring for?

There are so many peaks and valleys that life throws at us and I'm sure this year will be in some part the same. The struggles of last year have only strengthened me for this year and have added to the layers of the woman I am becoming.

I'm not the same Ivy from a year ago (thank goodness) and while some coff at the resolutioners, I applaud them. Sure, we may not meet every goal or make a dent in the diet we've been longing for years to achieve but I see nothing wrong with wanting to be better yourself and aspiring to become a the best version of yourself whether it be for a day, month, or year.

Hats off to you and to everyone looking to make the positive changes in your life for yourself and for the ones around you that you love. Here's to a New Year and the blank slate ahead of us.

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