The Toys That Make Me Want To Lose My Mama Mind

If your home is anything like my home, then it is probably packed with toys from room to room. You could easily take a stroll through my house and find atleast a handful (if not more...) of Amaya's toys scattered about in each room of my house. The birthday parties, Christmas', Easter, and just general toys from short shopping trips add up rather quickly.

I've come to the point that at holidays and birthdays when family and friends ask about what Amaya 'needs/wants', I strongly urge for NO MORE FREAKING TOYS, but rather suggest that they offer an experience or adventure for her to do, like:

- contribute to her dance class
- bowling passes
- membership to a museum
- passes to the zoo
- things of that like or educational experiences

To be honest, I much rather us collect experiences and memories than possessions and honestly, things that are just going to junk up our house. Now, rest assure I'm not some Joan Crawford mama who rules the roost with a wire hanger but there are just some toys that irk me to my core.

Does this mama silently cringe every time she asks for or pulls one of these out to play with....Ummm yes.

Does this mama also get on the floor and roll around with these Satan created S.O.B's.....also yes.

This is mom life.
And my short list of the toys I despise at the present moment:

I have pledged my undying annoyance for this mushy mess time and time again. Everytime she brings this out to play with, I die a little on the inside. My type A has an internal meltdown when she decides to open the fresh canister of new beautifully colored doh and then proceeds to mix the ever loving crap out of them.

Is she using her imagination and creating loving cupcakes of multicolored madness, yes....but she is also driving her mama mad with the tiny balls of squished and long forgotten dough that I find dried up all over my casa.

Fingerlings (and toys of the like)
I take no responsibility for this as my girlfriend bought this for Amaya for Christmas, but I just don't get it. It's a monkey who makes sounds and moves his head back and forth and makes sounds while attached to your finger.

That's it.

Granted hers does have a jungle gym but it literally does a whole lot of nothing besides taking up space in the house. She played with it initially but the only thing it is good for now is scaring the shit out of me in the middle of the night when I forget to turn it off and it motion sensor screeches at me.

Is this how our parents felt about Polly Pockets?

Because I curse the parent hating creators of these small ordinary object with faces. Why, oh why, would you create the most tiniest toy ever with a plethora of must need 'collectibles'? I can't count how many times I have been down on all fours looking under the couch and in the crevices of our furniture for the cutestsy cupcake and magical mushroom and all of their friends. Or when she needs a super special approximate one that we haven't seen in months but is seriously necessary for tonight's bedtime routine.

Seriously, these bad boys are barely as big as my fingernail.
I will be more than happy when we're over this stage of tiny toys.

Okay...I lie. I lie.

I will probably miss the shizz out of these when they're missing from my existence.

Fast Food Toys
We all know them...the little knick knacks and poorly made plastic toys that come in almost every kids meal out there. These are the toys that are usually found at the bottom of the barrel and are definite throwaways until your kiddo sees them and then 'omg, that is my favoooooooowite toy mommmmmy'.

*insert strong mama side eye here*

I always try to throw these away on the sly and these are definitely the first to go during the toy purges but do you know what also makes me despise these? That if it is an actual good toy that I know she enjoys, there is no way to get a replacement for it once they run their course at the restaurant.

Although we rarely enjoy many fast food restaurants, the times we do get McDonalds, I've opted for the book option instead of the toy. We've started a small book collection in the car of those books.

I'm sure there are are few more such as battery operated annoyances but that's a post for another day. I promise I'm not a monster of a mommy but let's keep it real and admit that some things just get under our skin and these are the toys that do it for me.

What toys make you want to lose your ever loving mama mind?
Please tell me I'm not alone in this.


  1. So much yes to Shopkins. Especially with having a 10 month old little sister crawling around putting everything into her mouth.

    I actually love Play-Doh & Julia's really careful with it. But we also have no carpet so it's easy to sweep up.

    (Julia's reading over my shoulder - as she's supposed to be doing to sleep - and said "were those Shopkins?! Go back!")

    1. I couldn't imagine having to deal with Shopkins especially with the baby. They just get lost soo freaking quick.

      Amaya tries to be careful,but it's a lost hope at this point. 😁

    2. I’m laughing so hard right now because everything you named, my girls L O V E!!! Lol. Great post mama 💕

  2. You’ve just taught me to never let shopkins into my house. My LO is only 20m so we don’t really have anything too annoying yet. I’m going to have a “no play doh inside” rule as I recall the horror of cleaning up after my nephew!!
    The dog annoys me more as she loves to destroy anything playmobil!!

  3. I love your suggestions for gifts!! Such a sweet idea to provide an experience with a lasting memory instead of a toy the size of your finger nails loll 💕

  4. Lol! I toss out those fast food toys as well. Great article.

  5. Omg girl we have the same list of toys but let’s add LEGO’s and those surprise egg toys all things tiny ugh. I like the idea you had to encourage family to contribute to experiences. I think I’ll start doing this instead I’ve opted towards clothes instead of toys but those pile up too.

  6. Girl yes! I agree with everyone of these you posted 😂 they drive me insane

  7. omg what a creative blog!!! I love the idea of asking for contributions to dance class or zoo pass. Also I hate shopkins they are so small aria puts them in her mouth. I hate every toy on your list ugh fast food toys omg love this post lol

  8. This one made me laugh! I love how expressive your writing is! I keep minimal toys for my son for this exact reason- experiences definitely last longer!

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